Pages

Monday, March 30, 2015

commencement speech :)

I have a love for commencement speeches. If you have read my past blog, I posted two of my favourite commencement speeches done by 1) Steve Jobs for Stanford University in 2005 and 2) Conan O'Brien for Dartmouth University in 2011.

Now I found another. It's Lisa Macuja's (best ballet dancer ---EVER!) speech for Ateneo graduates in 2015 YEY! (I'm yet-ing for Lisa Macuja not for my rival school heeheehee---GOTTA STAY TRUE GREEN-BLOODED LASALLIAN!! hehehe) Too bad I haven't found a video but this was the full text.



"You cannot imagine how great an honor it is for me to speak before you today. And that is certainly not a cliché or an exaggeration. Few people would ever guess that despite the many blessings I’ve received in over 30 years as a ballerina, most of my young life was spent pining for something that you all have and I don’t—a diploma from the Ateneo de Manila University.

You see, I come from a certified Blue Eagle family. My father, his brother and my siblings all graduated from the Ateneo, with all four men in my family in the Honors Class since their elementary grades. Although I married a magna cum laude from Harvard. (Sorry, my husband made sure that I stuck that in there somewhere.)

When I was seventeen, fresh out of high school, I found myself standing at a crossroad in my life: I was accepted in both the Ateneo and UP for college.

But I decided to go to Russia instead and pursue my dream of becoming a ballerina in the toughest ballet school in the world, as a cultural scholar of the former Soviet Union.
Given this opportunity, the diploma would have to wait. I struck a deal with my parents—I gave myself two years to devote to dancing, which was my first love. If it didn’t work out, I promised I would go back to school and become an accountant, which was what my grandparents wanted me to be.

That was the first big deadline I’ve ever set for myself.
When I told my parents I wanted to study ballet in Russia instead of enrolling in college like everyone else, my father’s reaction was: “What? So you will become a dancer and just learn to count to eight for the rest of your life?”   My mom, on the other hand, was very supportive. She herself wanted to become a ballerina but was forced to stop when a ban in the 1950s prohibited girls from Catholic schools to dance ballet. My grandparents? Well, they still wanted me to become an accountant.

My dad probably thought I would find life in Russia so hard that I would hurry back home anyway, so finally, he relented. I left right after my 18th birthday and was assigned to the 7th year level of the Russian Ballet Academy in St Petersburg. It was 1982 and the first snow had just fallen when our plane touched down in what was then a bastion of communism.
In a way, my father was right. That first year in Russia was indeed the hardest year of my life. It was a life that was filled with change and adaptation—new culture, new language, new dogmas, a new method of ballet training, new weather conditions… Then eventually, I had to make new friends and satisfy new mentors. Beginnings are difficult.

But I stayed. Sometimes being stubborn has its rewards. There were many days in those cold ballet studios in the dead of winter when my body was ready to collapse from sheer exhaustion and it was just my stubborn will that pushed me to continue doing those drills again and again, day in and day out. Even in the many nights when I cried myself to sleep from homesickness or from the soreness of an injury, the pain was gently but obstinately pushed aside the minute I focused on my dream – the dream of becoming not just a ballerina but the best ballerina I could ever become. I substituted the occasional feelings of helplessness and anxiety with visions of achieving that dream. This—plus an attitude of gratitude, an overwhelming sense of appreciation for being exactly where I was and the miracle of how I even got there.

Despite the many sacrifices, my being in Russia was a great blessing and I survived by putting all my energy in practicing, learning and following directions as I was being mentored in the very difficult Russian Vaganova system of classical ballet training. I was like a horse with blinders. Nothing else mattered but my art. The discipline first shaped my mind and spirit—then my body eventually followed. Not only did I stay to finish the two years of ballet training, I stayed on for two more, this time as the first foreigner to be invited as an artist of the 250-year-old Kirov Ballet.

This is where that crossroad of my life has brought me. The journey was challenging but it was well worth it because I pursued a path that brought me closer to my heart’s calling. And when your heart speaks to you, you can never go wrong because it never lies. And it will push you to go forward and excel because at a certain point, your dream becomes like oxygen. You need it to breathe. You need it to grow. You need it to live.

However, in today’s world, the standards of success have become a bit more complicated. You can’t just drill; you need to create. You can’t just learn; you need to innovate. You can’t just follow; you need to lead.

Today, you find yourself in that same crucial intersection in life that I myself crossed many years ago. What can I tell you now that will make your next steps easier, if not more meaningful?

My father was right in saying that ballet dancers are drilled to count to eight. It is in these classic eight counts that a segment of movement is born. Then we start all over again with one. From this repetitive drill, choreography is born. So they actually serve as building blocks for creating something new and creative.

In this fashion, allow me to share with you my own “eight counts” which I hope would serve as helpful references as you find your own rhythm and direction in life:

FIRST
Decide and commit to something that you are passionate about. The earlier you do this, the better. Make a decision not just on what you want to do and what you want to achieve in the next few years, but try to picture where you want to be 20 years from now. This was something my father taught me. He was a very wise and logical man. After all, he was an Atenean right?  When I was 15, he made me write a list of what I wanted to be and should have done by the age of 35. I came up with the following: to get a degree from the Ateneo and become a teacher; to dance all the classical ballerina roles at least once in my career; to own and operate my own ballet school; to have my own family and be a mom. I committed myself to these long-term goals alongside my short term ones and looking back, I seem to have done everything before I reached 35 – except for the first one. But wait, since I am a ballet teacher, I guess it’s just a matter of getting a diploma then. Hmmm…

SECOND
No pain, no gain. I cannot overemphasize this point. Nothing can take the place of hard work – not even talent. As they say, hard work beats talent when talent does not work hard. When my own daughter told me she wanted to become a ballerina, a part of me was excited for her and pleased that I could help her to achieve her dream. But part of me was also screaming NOOOOO because I wanted to protect her from all the blood, sweat, and tears that she would have to go through in order to achieve her dreams. In the end, she pursued her intention and now I know how my parents felt back then—extremely proud!

THIRD
Whatever your goal, get good at it! Whatever it is you are passionate about, you need to keep at it and practice. Repeat. Practice. Repeat. While you are practicing and repeating, don’t forget the “and” count — the “one-and-a-two-and-a-three” connecting counts that link together connecting steps in ballet. Bear in mind that there are also connecting points in life that are just as important as its highs and lows. These are the periods of rest, recreation, and stillness. These in-between moments are just as important because they give you a chance to breathe, to balance and to center. So keep on practicing – but take vacations too. Keep your focus… but remember it’s the linking “ands” that keep you connected.

FOURTH
Honor your emotions and acknowledge your fears. It’s okay to be nervous, to feel anxious or to have stage fright. That means you care and that you want to excel. After three decades of dancing, I still gag before going onstage! That’s why I make sure to fast before every performance. Seriously, it’s when you stop feeling nervous that you should start to worry because that means you are becoming apathetic towards what you are doing. And that’s a scary place to be in. Your emotions are a part of who you are. Being emotional doesn’t mean you’re weak. Whether you need to deal with pressure, loss, failure, hurt or rejection, our emotions are not a baggage. Instead, they make us human. They make us whole. So cry, laugh, smile, scream… it’s okay!

FIFTH
For a performing artist, the performance is the product and thus, the most important part of your work. All the classes, rehearsals, warm-ups and preparation culminate into that one performance. That is what the audience sees and that is what they will take away with them. Treat every time you get to practice your profession as a performance. Don’t save your best effort for another day. Always give 100% so you never have to regret anything. 

But BE PREPARED. You know in jumping, the deeper you do this step called a “plié” which means to bend (in this case your knees) the higher you are able to propel yourself into the air. The plié is your preparation. The soaring into the air is the goal. The more prepared you are, whether for a presentation, a task or a performance, usually, the outcome is also better. Take this moment now to thank your parents, teachers, mentors, administrators, family, colleagues, your Manongs and Manangs and your friends. For they all helped out to prepare you well. And they will continue to support you in the years to come. Believe me, you will need their support.

SIXTH
Do something crazy.  Do something that defies all logic at least once in your life. You never know what could happen from there. I once found myself in Cuba and was asked to dance the full-length Swan Lake. Now you have to know something about Swan Lake—it has the most difficult ballerina role ever. In fact, in Russia, I was warned by my own teacher—who I loved and respected and trusted—that I should never do the roles of Odette/Odile. It’s true. She told me when I graduated that I was already equipped to dance any role out there—except Odette/Odile. “Because Lisa, you will never be a Swan Queen,” she said frankly but with every good intention. Well, my “something crazy” happened twice in my life. First, I accepted the challenge of performing Swan Lake in Cuba with only FOUR DAYS to learn and rehearse it. And I performed what was for me the WORST Swan Lake I have ever done in my career! Honestly, I still cringe when I watch the video. But I did it. No regrets. My second crazy moment was when I resigned from my former company, where I was principal dancer, and formed Ballet Manila in 1995 with 11 other young dancers. No money, no connections, just a lot of drive and dreams to begin with. 

Well, the company just celebrated its 20th anniversary last month with five times the number of dancers, plus a school and a scholarship foundation that promises a steady supply of well-trained ballet dancers to continue our mission of bringing ballet to the people and people to the ballet in the many years to come! Sometimes closing your eyes and taking that leap of faith will get you there—even if it makes you pass through a lot of heartaches and failure along the way.

SEVENTH
This one is a quote I saw on social media but which I felt was truly valid and real:  “One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.” This is where setting a deadline for yourself is most important.  I gave myself two years to become a ballerina, although honestly I do not know what I would have done if it didn’t work out. (You see I hate accounting. Working with numbers was never my forte—unless of course it involves counting to 8).

So push yourself through self-doubts, for they will certainly come. Push yourself through rejection. But also know when it’s time to re-direct. Re-boot. And then decide and commit all over again.

EIGHTH OR LASTLY …
Serve. Offer yourself to a cause bigger than your own needs or ambition. Find ways to make your dreams meaningful to others as well. One thing that I’ve learned from my family of Blue Eagles is that an Atenean means being a “man or woman for others.” You need to serve. Serve your whole life. Serve yourself sometimes. But serve others more often.

I met many of you during two separate visits to the Ateneo that have prepared me for today’s commencement speech. With today’s visit, I must say I haven’t been this often to Ateneo since I was in high school coming to watch Dulaang Sibol.

So what are my eight counts again?

Decide and commit
Work hard
Focus and get good
Honor your emotions
Prepare well
Take the leap
Set deadlines
and Serve.

Fly high Blue Eagle graduates! This is your time to soar!


Full text from: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/682265/a-speech-that-will-be-remembered-for-a-long-long-time#ixzz3VrjY4zQH

music...they speak!!!



When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight, it ends tonight, it ends tonight...


*fist pump*
hehehe
feeling thug?!?


prettytwistedchick(en!bleh!)

Sunday, March 29, 2015

music...they speak!!!


trying to remind myself...
this used to be my anthem...mantra
reviving it back again.
P.U.S.H.ing it!


(btw, P.U.S.H.= Pray Until Something Happens)



I'd like to close my eyes and go numb 
But there's a cold wind coming from 
The top of the highest high rise today 
Its not a breeze cuz it blows hard 
Yes and it wants me to discard 
The humanity I know, watched the warmth blow away 
So don't let the world bring you down 
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold 
Remember why you came and while you're alive 
Experience the warmth before you grow old 
So do you think I should adhere 
To that pressing new frontier 
And leave in my wake, a trail of fear 
Should I hold my head up high 
And throw a wrench and spokes by 
I'm leaving the air behind me clear 



(btw, P.U.S.H.= Pray Until Something Happens)


:D

prettytwisted(and PUSHing it)chick

Saturday, March 28, 2015

L.O.V.E......naks! :)


I know I said no more sad stuff...I'm not even sure if this is a sad or happy one. You (yes, you!) will have to be the judge.

I wrote this few days before Valentines' Day (yes its been more than a month! haha) with a specific person in mind. However that one drifted and gone with the wind (although I'm not really that sure if I would give or had the intention of giving this letter to him--we will never know now, do we?!? hehe).

I tweak the original letter coz that isn't already applicable now...but the essence is there, I think. (yup everything is a bit incoherent --SORRY!-- I am under the influence of too much caffeine today--two cups of coffee and 2 cans of soda---so, forgive me! My mind is in the clouds)


Dear love, 

('naks ang sweet! hehehe but I meant love in general, the love that is destined for me--ayun un e!haha)

This was never expected. The feeling was a surprise even to myself. But I couldn't deny it.

Its the smile that you brought to my lips. The butterflies in my stomach. The yearning to know you more and share with you more.

I have this desire to know you, despite knowing that I cannot really, fully know you. Still I'd like to try.

I want to know what makes you smile or laugh--and the different kinds of smiles and laughters you have. What pisses you off and how far your patience go?

How do you handle stress? Are you hot tempered? Do you tend to shout your opinions or keep it inside?

I'd like to get a glimpse of your past. Not to judge you by them but to appreciate the person that you have become now because of them.

I want you to want to share with me your goals, priorities and how you envision your future. What scares you?

I want to be able to tell you how my day was and not just the standard "great" "alright" and "fine".  I want us to share... happy memories, secrets and even burdens and worries.

I want to be able to run to you when something big happens or when someone pissed me off, not because you have the answers/solutions to my problems nor could fight my battles for me....but because you got the shoulders I could lean on when I am at my weakest and arms that could envelop me in a secure and warm embrace.

I want to become your friend, more than anything. I think that's why it's termed boyFRIEND/girlFRIEND. The aim really is to become good, good (even best) friends with each other.

Friends are for keeps... I share fun with them, adventure, try new things, explore different places and even try each other's patience.

Friendship (atleast for me) is not a fleeting thing.
Not a temporary affliction.

You know that thing, when friends look at each other from across the room, and they know... they know what the other one feels or trying to say. 
It's that single crooked smile that shows a hurting heart.
A single glance that means a fulfilled spirit.
No need for words.
No need for affirmation.
Coz the mere presence spoke a thousand words...more than enough to be felt by the heart.




I know that we are not the weight of all our memories
I believe in the things that I am afraid to say

Hold on, hold on
I believe in the lost possibilities you can see 
And I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be

I believe that tomorrow is stronger than yesterday
And I believe that your head is the only thing in your way
I wish that you could see your scars turn into beauty
I believe that today it’s okay to be not okay

Yun lang. :)

Good night universe (and please paki bulong kay heaven to conspire, pretty please with batting of eyelashes--if that works!)

Love, 
pretty(friendly-Ha!)twistedchick






Wednesday, March 25, 2015

music...they speak!!!

 good morning beautiful world!!!




"I don't wanna lose control
I just wanna touch your soul
I do
I do
I just wanna hold you when the goings tough
I just wanna love you when your not enough
I just wanna give you all that I can give"


if and when I love, this is exactly me :)



feeling positive
and hopeful (Ha!),

prettytwistedchick

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

music...they speak!!!

I realized I write more when I am sad and I bake more when I'm happy.
Lately, I haven't been baking..
I haven't been writing much either.

So where does that leave me?
Numb???
Indifferent?
pffft.

I'm determined to write happy thoughts from now on! ha!
Maybe that's why I'm on instagram more often, you can't post sad pictures... 
that would be weird!
Oh I'm on spotify
often too. Coz music heals whatever is broken. :)

naks! promise last na ito! haha





"And all of the noise I hear inside
Restless and loud, unspoken and wild
And all that you need to say
To make it all go away
Is that you feel the same way too"




pretty(numb-ha!)twistedchick