internet musings....

A lot of people (I, included!) live on the internet.

I know a lot whose daily lives are glued infront of the computer or their smartphones,
day in and day out.

I, for one, make it a conscious effort to deactivate my life on the net (at least for a day....or so.... or for how long I can take it---AND ITS HARDDDDDD!) and re-activate my life with the ACTUAL LIVING INDIVIDUALS.

I know, these days, you can do practically everything online--work, order food, buy clothes, pay bills even date online. But all these leave behind human interaction. The actual touch of live human being...that no amount of virtual hullabaloo can replace. Nothing can replace that feeling of experiencing things first hand... to actually experience being in a new place without knowing anyone. Appreciating the beauty of nature right infront of you...an not just through google.

Find it a waste of time and opportunity to explore the world and uncover the limits of our potentials.



...just thoughts





 

music...they speak!!!

yes I am still on Jason Mraz vibe

(might stay a while in this state...)

that's how I actually listen

if I find a real good song

one that makes an impact on me

I look into the artist

the listen to the whole album

then if I liked it I'll listen to the other albums

then if I stumble on something

I don't like

will move one to another song,

another artist

(repeat process!) 

hahaha

this song, I love.

its a feel good.

the message: EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

:)

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm, then brace it
If it's a broken heart, then face it

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold

hold your own, sweet peeps

stay strong...

prettytwistedchick

ripples of love

This morning I found myself

saying something along these lines...

"I'm not rooting for love anymore.

Maybe it's not for me.

Maybe it's for someone else,

But not me."

Then my friend reminded me of a letter I gave her many years back when she was first heartbroken, it goes like...

"Love is a miracle. 

And when you love, you love because you do and without any expectations of being loved in return. 

Now, if the one you love happens to love you back, 

there lies the miracle. 

Because despite your flaws and imperfections, despite the countless other people in the world, you happen to chance upon love with each other

...that's miracle in itself. 

If the one you love don't love you back, 

then love becomes a gift. 

A gift you give to the universe. 

Freely given. 

Somehow that love will find its way back to you, 

in some ways, in some form, 

maybe in some other person. 

So never get tired of sending ripples of love. 

It will find its way back"

Wow!!! I got reminded by myself! Cool right?

A ripple on its own. :)

I have forgotten I believe in ripples.

Nice right?!?

Maybe now if I continue to root for love

love will find its way back to me.

Woohooo! hehehe

walang connect sa mga sinabi ko sa taas

hahaha

Sending ripples of good vibes muna,

prettytwistedchick

L.O.V.E......naks! :)

I know I said no more sad stuff...I'm not even sure if this is a sad or happy one. You (yes, you!) will have to be the judge.

I wrote this few days before Valentines' Day (yes its been more than a month! haha) with a specific person in mind. However that one drifted and gone with the wind (although I'm not really that sure if I would give or had the intention of giving this letter to him--we will never know now, do we?!? hehe).

I tweak the original letter coz that isn't already applicable now...but the essence is there, I think. (yup everything is a bit incoherent --SORRY!-- I am under the influence of too much caffeine today--two cups of coffee and 2 cans of soda---so, forgive me! My mind is in the clouds)

Dear love, 

('naks ang sweet! hehehe but I meant love in general, the love that is destined for me--ayun un e!haha)

This was never expected. The feeling was a surprise even to myself. But I couldn't deny it.

Its the smile that you brought to my lips. The butterflies in my stomach. The yearning to know you more and share with you more.

I have this desire to know you, despite knowing that I cannot really, fully know you. Still I'd like to try.

I want to know what makes you smile or laugh--and the different kinds of smiles and laughters you have. What pisses you off and how far your patience go?

How do you handle stress? Are you hot tempered? Do you tend to shout your opinions or keep it inside?

I'd like to get a glimpse of your past. Not to judge you by them but to appreciate the person that you have become now because of them.

I want you to want to share with me your goals, priorities and how you envision your future. What scares you?

I want to be able to tell you how my day was and not just the standard "great" "alright" and "fine".  I want us to share... happy memories, secrets and even burdens and worries.

I want to be able to run to you when something big happens or when someone pissed me off, not because you have the answers/solutions to my problems nor could fight my battles for me....but because you got the shoulders I could lean on when I am at my weakest and arms that could envelop me in a secure and warm embrace.

I want to become your friend, more than anything. I think that's why it's termed boyFRIEND/girlFRIEND. The aim really is to become good, good (even best) friends with each other.

Friends are for keeps... I share fun with them, adventure, try new things, explore different places and even try each other's patience.

Friendship (atleast for me) is not a fleeting thing.

Not a temporary affliction.

You know that thing, when friends look at each other from across the room, and they know... they know what the other one feels or trying to say. 

It's that single crooked smile that shows a hurting heart.

A single glance that means a fulfilled spirit.

No need for words.

No need for affirmation.

Coz the mere presence spoke a thousand words...more than enough to be felt by the heart.

I know that we are not the weight of all our memories
I believe in the things that I am afraid to say

Hold on, hold on
I believe in the lost possibilities you can see 
And I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be

I believe that tomorrow is stronger than yesterday
And I believe that your head is the only thing in your way
I wish that you could see your scars turn into beauty
I believe that today it’s okay to be not okay

Yun lang. :)

Good night universe (and please paki bulong kay heaven to conspire, pretty please with batting of eyelashes--if that works!)

Love, 

pretty(friendly-Ha!)twistedchick

Adieu 2014

       Because its New Year's Eve tonight.

      2014 has been a tough year on so many levels, and I'm glad to bid 2014 goodbye.

    Relationship-wise, I've said goodbye to people I've only just met  and to people I've known all my life.  You know me with people, especially friends and family, I am not easy to let go. I value friendship and family the most and saying goodbye is really heartbreaking. 

       Work has been tough as well. At an onset I have been challenged left and right. Sometimes I put up a fight, most of the time I struggle surviving. A lot of changes happened, and I'm still there. Fuck how most of the time, money rules our actions! Maybe its a sign that I should leave the country for good and try my luck elsewhere.... question is, where??? Asia? US? Europe?

    Badluck happened to me this year too! June 13, 2014 (Friday the 13th) to be exact.  I don't really believe in superstitions nor do I get easily scared by old beliefs, but June 13, Friday the 13th really got me thinking twice. My bag got slashed and a group of women (I was in the "women only" cart of the train) took my phone (which by the way was only 4months old that time, and which I am still paying for until hmmmm 2016, maybe). This sprung a lot of money issues on my end. I used to just get by with my meager salary and from time to time I get to indulge myself with a few things, but from June until now, belt has been tighter than ever.

     One of the few good things that happened to me this year was I took a short pastry course from a renowned culinary school. I have been planning to do this for years and was finally able to actualise it. I enjoyed every minute of my pastry course and if only I can extend...:(

      And I'm thankful for the family that I have and thank God they are in good health. :) Just saying and putting it out there :)

    I'm thankful too for the new people that made my year colourful. I lost few friends and then gain some...hopefully they are all worth keeping.  

      I pray, really really pray 2015 will be an amazing, happy year of my life.  There are a few things in 2015 that I look forward to and plans that needs to be achieved.

        2015, please be good to me.  Universe, please conspire.

                    pretty(hopeful)twistedchick

Senti Lunes

Minsan gusto kong magtanong,

minsan may pagdududa.

Meron bang dapat panghawakan?

May karapatan bang umasa?

Sa mundong madaming walang katiyakan

Sa mga kaganapan, walang kasiguraduhan.

Di ako sanay lumaban sa giyerang di sa akin nakalaan.

Di rin ako marunong sumuko hangga't mayroong dahilan akong ipaglalaban.

Nasabi ko sayo noon, di ako magtatanong

Sabihin lamang ang mga salita, ako'y kusang mawawala.

Ang tangi ko lang alam, puso ko sayo ay nilaan.

Ang paghulog ay hindi ko inaasahan.

Madami akong mga pagaalinlangan.

Madaming tanong na walang kasagutan.

Marahil panahon lang ang makakapagsabi.

O di kaya'y ang lahat ay pawang guni-guni.

Ngunit madalas ako'y naiinip malaman ang kahihinatnan.

Ito ba'y drama, katatawanan kwento ng pagiibigan?

Mga tanong na tanging panahon lang ang may kasagutan.

:(

prettytwistedchick

hugsss please?

I've been having a bad day.
No make it a week coz it started last Friday and its Thursday now.


I am stressed, sad, angry, worried and irritated.
I need a hug.

Either  that or I really need to punch someone, fast.
In the face.
But I'm not a violent person.
So a hug will do.

I don't know what it is with hugs.
It doesn't solve anything but it revitalizes a seemingly battered soul
(emotionally, physically and intellectually)

Its a charger of some sort.

There's something with two hearts beating together.

A kiss, well it can be patronizing
With hugs, there is a sense of support and presence,
that no matter what you or the world thinks, you are not alone.
Hugs are more intimate in a lot of ways.

I like hugs.
Will you give me some?
I need one right about now.

I've drained all my energy.
And I'm angry too (which normally it would take a LOT for me to get angry)
Guess this is "A LOT!".



haaaay

Think, I will do some hibernating.  :)
:(




prettytwistedchick

artsy FARTsy hahaha

perspective of the innocents

 

 

look up???

 

 

inside looking out

Today I feel...

...sad.

 (should I give up or

should I keep on chasing pavements)

pretty(sad)twistedchick

ramblings in the midst of colds

I am not easily angered

And I easily forgive

I am admittedly dense about a lot of things going on around me

Its probably because I don't like to assume things

I always want to hear the truth--whether it will hurt me or not.

I'd rather feel the pain of honesty

Than be happy being made a fool

Communication is important in any relationship

Its the one thing that makes or breaks it

Because at the end of the day, 

When someone misunderstood one's action or intention

A hurting heart is broken with mistaken information.

I learned the other day that validation is the key.

ALWAYS VALIDATE. NEVER ASSUME.

Never react without confirming the truth.

I'd rather react knowing all sides and angles

than wallow in a pit of bottomless imaginary hurt.

I've already done my part.

I, too am proud.

But with just one hello,

who am I to turn my back?

I, too have a heart.

 pretty(sick of cold-shoulders, I am but a warm body)twistedchick

*wink*wink*

PS

(I don't know if I am making sense at all! I'm blaming my colds right now for my disillusioned mind hehehehe)

music...they speak!!!!

"I know you think that I shouldn't still love you, 
Or tell you that.But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it where's the sense in that? 


I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder Or return to where we were 


I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be..."



Exactly!
prettytwistedchick

brain farts on a monday morning

I never really intended this blog to be seen by many.
(or at the very least, seen by people who knows me)
Why? Maybe because it makes things easier to verbalize
I never really think of me as someone with a "voice".
I never really think that someone will "hear" me.

So this is my avenue.

I write behind the cloak of anonymity (however minute this
internet has afforded me) and a confidence of a fool.

this is an online diary (well sort of my running thoughts).

my thoughts.
my claims.
my disappointments.
my heartaches.
my new adventure.
my discoveries.
ME.

Somehow, I think I needed this reminder more than anyone else.


pretty(contemplative and sometimes)twistedchick ;)

Today I feel...

Sometimes I cannot help but feel like I the odd ball out. 



pretty(odd)twistedchick