L.O.V.E......naks! :)

I know I said no more sad stuff...I'm not even sure if this is a sad or happy one. You (yes, you!) will have to be the judge.

I wrote this few days before Valentines' Day (yes its been more than a month! haha) with a specific person in mind. However that one drifted and gone with the wind (although I'm not really that sure if I would give or had the intention of giving this letter to him--we will never know now, do we?!? hehe).

I tweak the original letter coz that isn't already applicable now...but the essence is there, I think. (yup everything is a bit incoherent --SORRY!-- I am under the influence of too much caffeine today--two cups of coffee and 2 cans of soda---so, forgive me! My mind is in the clouds)

Dear love, 

('naks ang sweet! hehehe but I meant love in general, the love that is destined for me--ayun un e!haha)

This was never expected. The feeling was a surprise even to myself. But I couldn't deny it.

Its the smile that you brought to my lips. The butterflies in my stomach. The yearning to know you more and share with you more.

I have this desire to know you, despite knowing that I cannot really, fully know you. Still I'd like to try.

I want to know what makes you smile or laugh--and the different kinds of smiles and laughters you have. What pisses you off and how far your patience go?

How do you handle stress? Are you hot tempered? Do you tend to shout your opinions or keep it inside?

I'd like to get a glimpse of your past. Not to judge you by them but to appreciate the person that you have become now because of them.

I want you to want to share with me your goals, priorities and how you envision your future. What scares you?

I want to be able to tell you how my day was and not just the standard "great" "alright" and "fine".  I want us to share... happy memories, secrets and even burdens and worries.

I want to be able to run to you when something big happens or when someone pissed me off, not because you have the answers/solutions to my problems nor could fight my battles for me....but because you got the shoulders I could lean on when I am at my weakest and arms that could envelop me in a secure and warm embrace.

I want to become your friend, more than anything. I think that's why it's termed boyFRIEND/girlFRIEND. The aim really is to become good, good (even best) friends with each other.

Friends are for keeps... I share fun with them, adventure, try new things, explore different places and even try each other's patience.

Friendship (atleast for me) is not a fleeting thing.

Not a temporary affliction.

You know that thing, when friends look at each other from across the room, and they know... they know what the other one feels or trying to say. 

It's that single crooked smile that shows a hurting heart.

A single glance that means a fulfilled spirit.

No need for words.

No need for affirmation.

Coz the mere presence spoke a thousand words...more than enough to be felt by the heart.

I know that we are not the weight of all our memories
I believe in the things that I am afraid to say

Hold on, hold on
I believe in the lost possibilities you can see 
And I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be

I believe that tomorrow is stronger than yesterday
And I believe that your head is the only thing in your way
I wish that you could see your scars turn into beauty
I believe that today it’s okay to be not okay

Yun lang. :)

Good night universe (and please paki bulong kay heaven to conspire, pretty please with batting of eyelashes--if that works!)

Love, 

pretty(friendly-Ha!)twistedchick

music...they speak!!!

 good morning beautiful world!!!

"I don't wanna lose control
I just wanna touch your soul
I do
I do I just wanna hold you when the goings tough
I just wanna love you when your not enough
I just wanna give you all that I can give"

if and when I love, this is exactly me :)

feeling positive

and hopeful (Ha!),

prettytwistedchick

music...they speak!!!

I realized I write more when I am sad and I bake more when I'm happy.

Lately, I haven't been baking..

I haven't been writing much either.

So where does that leave me?

Numb???

Indifferent?

pffft.

I'm determined to write happy thoughts from now on! ha!

Maybe that's why I'm on instagram more often, you can't post sad pictures... 

that would be weird!

Oh I'm on spotify

often too. Coz music heals whatever is broken. :)

naks! promise last na ito! haha

"And all of the noise I hear inside
Restless and loud, unspoken and wild
And all that you need to say
To make it all go away
Is that you feel the same way too"

pretty(numb-ha!)twistedchick

music...they speak!!!

Because I can't sleep...

...and for the past weeksssss
 (yes many weeks!)

these are the songs I've been listening

 (...and singing, ha!)

So here are they are... 

(some of them atleast!)

"In the morning when you wake up

I like to believe you are thinking of me

And when the sun comes through your window

I like to believe you’ve been dreaming of me"

such a sweet, sweet song.... haaaay

"I'm suspended in the air 
Won't you come be in the sky with me" 

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you.

:)

that's it.

have a great weekend.

prettytwistedchick

Adieu 2014

       Because its New Year's Eve tonight.

      2014 has been a tough year on so many levels, and I'm glad to bid 2014 goodbye.

    Relationship-wise, I've said goodbye to people I've only just met  and to people I've known all my life.  You know me with people, especially friends and family, I am not easy to let go. I value friendship and family the most and saying goodbye is really heartbreaking. 

       Work has been tough as well. At an onset I have been challenged left and right. Sometimes I put up a fight, most of the time I struggle surviving. A lot of changes happened, and I'm still there. Fuck how most of the time, money rules our actions! Maybe its a sign that I should leave the country for good and try my luck elsewhere.... question is, where??? Asia? US? Europe?

    Badluck happened to me this year too! June 13, 2014 (Friday the 13th) to be exact.  I don't really believe in superstitions nor do I get easily scared by old beliefs, but June 13, Friday the 13th really got me thinking twice. My bag got slashed and a group of women (I was in the "women only" cart of the train) took my phone (which by the way was only 4months old that time, and which I am still paying for until hmmmm 2016, maybe). This sprung a lot of money issues on my end. I used to just get by with my meager salary and from time to time I get to indulge myself with a few things, but from June until now, belt has been tighter than ever.

     One of the few good things that happened to me this year was I took a short pastry course from a renowned culinary school. I have been planning to do this for years and was finally able to actualise it. I enjoyed every minute of my pastry course and if only I can extend...:(

      And I'm thankful for the family that I have and thank God they are in good health. :) Just saying and putting it out there :)

    I'm thankful too for the new people that made my year colourful. I lost few friends and then gain some...hopefully they are all worth keeping.  

      I pray, really really pray 2015 will be an amazing, happy year of my life.  There are a few things in 2015 that I look forward to and plans that needs to be achieved.

        2015, please be good to me.  Universe, please conspire.

                    pretty(hopeful)twistedchick

Senti Lunes

Minsan gusto kong magtanong,

minsan may pagdududa.

Meron bang dapat panghawakan?

May karapatan bang umasa?

Sa mundong madaming walang katiyakan

Sa mga kaganapan, walang kasiguraduhan.

Di ako sanay lumaban sa giyerang di sa akin nakalaan.

Di rin ako marunong sumuko hangga't mayroong dahilan akong ipaglalaban.

Nasabi ko sayo noon, di ako magtatanong

Sabihin lamang ang mga salita, ako'y kusang mawawala.

Ang tangi ko lang alam, puso ko sayo ay nilaan.

Ang paghulog ay hindi ko inaasahan.

Madami akong mga pagaalinlangan.

Madaming tanong na walang kasagutan.

Marahil panahon lang ang makakapagsabi.

O di kaya'y ang lahat ay pawang guni-guni.

Ngunit madalas ako'y naiinip malaman ang kahihinatnan.

Ito ba'y drama, katatawanan kwento ng pagiibigan?

Mga tanong na tanging panahon lang ang may kasagutan.

:(

prettytwistedchick

Music...they speak!!!!

"So honey now

Take me into your loving arms

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars

Place your head on my beating heart

I'm thinking out loud

That maybe we found love right where we are

And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory

I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways

Maybe it's all part of a plan

Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes

Hoping that you'll understand"

I'm slightly sick 

(I haven't claimed it yet!hehe)

I got colds. Boo.

But all else are pretty normal.

Except for the occasional headaches, 

runny nose, and the need to sleep.

(after-effect of the colds medicine)

Just this weekend, I did a lot of sleeping...

...apart from doing my errands, coz no one else will do them.

My routine was : 

sleep. eat. errands/chores. sleep.

(repeat)

*sigh*

It would be nice if this part of the song is

happening right now...

"So, baby, now Take me into your loving arms

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars

Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart

I'm thinking out loud

That maybe we found love right where we are"

Not the kiss part...eww I got colds!

I'm a walking virus (exag!!hehe)

Plus I don't think I would be able to breathe

I'm panting (exag again!) as it is.

Bottomline, I want hugs.

Lots and lots of hugs.

A lot of TLC

Maybe a little dancing on the side.

(This song calls for a slow dance, dontchathink?)

But the universe is not conspiring right now.

Pfffft

So I will just sleep this colds off... again.

Pffft.

pretty(lethargic)twistedchick

hugsss please?

I've been having a bad day.
No make it a week coz it started last Friday and its Thursday now.


I am stressed, sad, angry, worried and irritated.
I need a hug.

Either  that or I really need to punch someone, fast.
In the face.
But I'm not a violent person.
So a hug will do.

I don't know what it is with hugs.
It doesn't solve anything but it revitalizes a seemingly battered soul
(emotionally, physically and intellectually)

Its a charger of some sort.

There's something with two hearts beating together.

A kiss, well it can be patronizing
With hugs, there is a sense of support and presence,
that no matter what you or the world thinks, you are not alone.
Hugs are more intimate in a lot of ways.

I like hugs.
Will you give me some?
I need one right about now.

I've drained all my energy.
And I'm angry too (which normally it would take a LOT for me to get angry)
Guess this is "A LOT!".



haaaay

Think, I will do some hibernating.  :)
:(




prettytwistedchick

Brainfarts...

...too much airspace inside the brain Ha!

Relax, smell the roses.

In this case, snooze and do nothing.

I will do this on weekend, promise!

experiencing Monday Blues 

or Manic Monday?!?

prettytwistedchick

music...they speak!!!!

Because I really really love OneRepublic :)

"Hope that you fall in love


And it hurts so bad


The only way you can know


Is give it all you have

And I hope that you don't suffer


But take the pain


Hope when the moment comes, you'll say

Hope that you spend your days


But they all add up


And when that sun goes down

Hope you raise your cup


Oh, oh"

One day, someday I can actually say that "with every broken bone, I swear I lived!"

prettytwistedchick